7:41pm
Alright completely stressed now. Can't go to the coast because my parents don't believe I am well enough to go. So now I have to pull a trick out of my butt, to try and compensate. I feel as though it won't work, no matter how well it goes, because (1) it's not the coast, (2) it's not away from San Antonio, and (3) it won't be good enough. He may say it is but I know it won't, at least for me it won't. I wanted to be able to take him to the coast and show him the beautiful ocean and shore. I wanted to be able to show him a place that didn't suck like San Antonio. So no, it won't be good enough. But it's gonna have to do, because it's all I can do...
I just wish that there was some way I could get into CNA school so I don't have to rely on him all the time. Since I am broke all the time, we only get to do things when he has money. So news flash, when I say I don't feel good it's because I am depressed! I'm tired of being useless! I can never pay for anything because I am broke. Jobs won't hire me, I lost the only babysitting job I had but only because they got caught cheating me. I wanna give him the world but I can't even afford the dirt that goes on it. I am gonna feel as though nothing is good enough until the day I can plan something and carry it out without having him pay for anything.
Does anybody know any jobs that are hiring? I don't mean grocery store jobs or big places like that. nobody is hiring a babysitter so I have to branch beyond that. This moment in life sucks...